Montag, 13. Januar 2014

Boundaries



“There are no limits, neither for our mind nor for our feelings. Fear sets limits. “

Ingmar Bergman


What an excellent quote! I set myself limits or my fear sets limits to me. I often limit myself in my possibilities because I don’t believe I am good enough in it yet. My claim at perfection is really strong. For me is my strive for  perfection a huge wall. But this year I will change it. My word of the year is “courage”. It costs me really courage to admit that I strive for perfection and I will never reach these.

Whoever smally thinks remains small! Who doesn’t dare, doesn’t win. I can extend my limits. Every day I win more and more space in which I can grow.
Think big! Why not? Big things only happened, because somebody has exceeded the limits and has tried it out, although it seemed impossible.
Consistency and faith in the project are also important ingredients for success. Thomas Edison build the perfect light bulb after 9999 tests,  but he said:
“I simply found 9999 ways not to build the perfect light buld”
When would you give up? I am not so sure, that I would try it again and again. Thomas Edison didn’t invented the light bulb but he has improved it. He didn’t worked alone, he was in this project with a team. I think to be in a team – gives the power for consistency.

There are many limits. I have set so many in my life. It isn’t so easy to discover them and look at them. I suddenly stand there – see all my limits, all my bonds:
What holds me! What keeps me small!
What will happen if I leave my old well-trodden paths and look for new creeping paths?
Any limit which I discover, takes a new challenge and creates space for new ways.  I get on the way and I am happy if you join me a piece of the way. What do you want to discover this year?




It is getting tricky now. While the first part had the message:
Don’t limit you and your possibilities! Dare! You are good enough! Your message and your ideas are unique – so as you are unique! And if you don’t venture it, this amazing idea won’t be born.

In this part I examine boundaries from another point of view. It is also important to know your own limits.
Sounds complicated? It only requires clarity and courage, perhaps it could be sometimes a little bit difficult.  If I know which paths I would like to leave. I get conscious what doesn’t fit anymore in my life.

Maybe there will be a NO:
-         - to a regular 9-5 job
-         - to a common definition of partnership
-        -  to some people
-          -to some things you don’t need anymore
-         - and and and
 
      From Christiane Kane I got the quote “If it’s not a hell of a YES, it’s is a NO”.  A few weeks ago I had a job interview. The conversation war okay, the young woman was nice. What do you think about “okay and nice”? What a f*ck! “If it’s not a hell of a YES, it’s is a NO! Wow – it felt so good! It was clear – it simply didn’t match. So I am looking for a new candidate.

Are you clear about your limits?
Can you easily say NO?
Feel you good if you say NO or do you feel  guilty?

3 little tips for saying NO:

     1.) Take your time before you make a decision

       You don’t have to say “yes” or “no” directly even if others would like this

           2.)   Find out why it is difficult for you to say “no”
         Some examples, why one too often say “yes”
-                        Fear of rejection
-                        Fear of consequences
-                       You could like egotistically or heartlessly

    3.)   Make clear to you which price you pay if you say “yes”
For example:
It costs time, energy
Very often stress because there are additional tasks
Bad emotions like feeling angry or feeling used


You are important! Your time is important – first take care of yourself! 



Veronika Krytzner für Stimmperlen

This article is for the blogchallenge with the topic "boundaries" - Andrea Hiltbrunner.


Bild:Adrian Hoderlein  / pixelio.de
Bild: Detlev Müller  / pixelio.de 

Kommentare:

  1. Hi Veronika,

    I like your post especially the part: What holds me! What keeps me small!
    During the last year I could discover that mostly my inner critic and my perfectionism was keeping me small and kept me hiding somewhere. At the same time I wanted to get out, raise my voice and be visible. Therefore my word of this year is "visibility" and on the other hand being kind and gentle to myself. Not to overstep my OWN boundaries.
    I also like Christiane Kane's quote about finding out the YES and NO.
    This year has already started being different for me as I made some decisions and set actions to intend to the YES for myself and acknowledge the NO to what no longer serves me in my way to fulfill my purpose.
    Thank you for your inputs.

    Liebe Gruesse,
    Barbara

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  2. Dear Barbara thank you so much for your beautiful comment. You have fulfill one of my wishes, I have wanted more communication here. Yes, the inner voice can be strong with criticism and perfectionism - i can understand this so well.I try to remember being a wholehearted woman and "i am enough". "Visibility" is a great word of the year - and you getting visible also by leaving a comment. I am really curious so see what will happen this year to you. Liebe Grüße Veronika

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  3. Liebe Veronika, herzlichen Dank, dass du bei meiner Blogchallenge mit dabei bist. Es ist die Zeit gekommen, die Perfektion etwas sausen zu lassen! Courage to be imperfect!
    Ich freue mich, dich bald wieder zu hören und dich in diesem Prozess begleiten zu dürfen. Hier ist noch mein Artikel zu unserem Thema Boundaries.
    http://www.dreamheart-smartart.ch/2014/01/13/blogchallenge-boundaries/
    Wenn du Lust hast, wieder mitzumachen, so startet die nächste Challenge am 3. Februar 2014 mit dem Thema: Beauty.
    Herzlichst, Andrea Hiltbrunner

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  4. Liebe Andrea, ich liebe Deine Blogchallenge - besonders weil sie mich über die Grenzen der Sprache und der Perfektion bringt. Wenn ich mich mit Deinen Challengen-Wörtern beschäftige, so eröffnen sich mir neue Sichtweisen - das ist sehr bereichernd. Mal schauen, was mir zu "beauty" einfallen wird. Herzlichen Dank für Deine Blogchallenge und Deine Inspiration! Liebe Grüße Veronika

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